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Its funny how circumstances can change your view on things. For example, when I was 13 anyone playing at parachute was a hero. I would mosh away to my favourite bands, never in a million years thinking that it could one day be me.
And so on Friday there was this very weird moment as I arrived at Totara Springs Christian camp, the old site for the event, and go for a walk around as the sun was setting and a light mist started to build. I have never being to this site outside of the times that I was at Parachute as a kid so it was an absolutely eerie feeling to wander around an empty camp-site, and then to walk over the hill to see this big monument to my grommethood standing there, lifeless and empty.
It got me thinking about how much I have changed in that time - the painful discovery that the guys playing on stage were not better than me, they were human and messed up like me, that playing there hadn't made them feel "complete'. To discover that the dream of playing there was actually a pretty self centered egotistical dream, and that God has far greater things for me to dream about (even if they dont look as sexy as rocking out to a crowd). Most importantly it has become clear to me that my character, who I am, is far more important than what I do, and how others see me. Man its taken some tears and heartache to discover that simple life giving truth. And to be honest most of the time I forget it and live for all this other silly "stuff".

So to go to Wellington Hospital last night, say goodbye to my great Aunty, and watch her peacefully pass away brought another reminder about the priorities and values that really matter. I have never seen someone die before, but last night was a privilege beyond words to be one of a couple of people around her bed as my Dad prayed for her and anointed her head with oil, read Psalm 23 during which time she passed away. A very beautiful moment where heaven was close. My Aunty was lucid and talking to people right up till the last 20mins of her life, and so it was one of those very powerful times in which many profound, significant and healing conversations happened. I learnt a lot last night.

I am so grateful to God for His grace and His presence as He continues to shape and guide our lives, inviting, encouraging, and wooing us into places of depth, places of character, places of life.


  1. Anonymous Ben Says:

    Hey Sam

    I found that incredibly moving to read about your aunty's passing. That's the way I hope to go, peacefully in bed, surrounded by Teri, our children and our grandchildren...their love...their prayers....God's word...and then home...

    My thoughts are with you brother.


  2. Blogger A. J. Chesswas Says:

    Thanks for sharing buddy - really touching...

  3. Blogger the kyle Says:

    Hey man. Thanks for that post. It definitely did something to me, I was moved. I pray that God will give you and your family peace during this delicate time.

    God bless you brother.

    - Andy